Blessed to Be a Blessing: Sermon for the Funeral of Carol Kuhlman

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Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ!

“And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing” (Genesis 12:2).

Most Christians are familiar with the term “blessed to be a blessing.” It refers to the fact that God has blessed us and desires we bless others as well. The actual reference is from the biblical story of God making a covenant with Abraham, telling the patriarch that He would bless Abraham and would bless the nations through Abraham and his offspring. We know this was faithfully accomplished through Jesus Christ, the world's Savior. According to the flesh, there will be those from every people, tribe, and tongue who will receive the eternal blessing of heaven through Jesus, a descendant of Abraham.

“Blessed to be a blessing.” I think this phrase is undoubtedly fitting to describe Carol and her life. The Lord blessed Carol in many ways, and she was a blessing to many others. She was blessed to be a blessing to many.

Following a suggestion I heard at a recent retreat, I asked Carol’s family if they would answer this question and then send their responses to me by text or email: How has Carol been a blessing to you? The responses were overwhelming, and I will share those responses with you today.

We’ll do this kind of backward. We’ll first talk about how Carol was a blessing of God to many others, particularly her family. And then, we’ll talk about how God blessed her throughout her life.

Michael Johansen wrote: I am one of Carol Kuhlman's grandchildren and was asked to send a message about how she was a blessing to me. The simplest way for me to express that is that she always made sure others were taken care of and put them first. She didn't seem to be concerned about herself or her needs until after she knew others had what they needed. I also cannot recall a time that she seemed upset, or even stressed. She always seemed to be calm and composed. She is an amazing person, and her positive impact is widespread.

Melissa Sundmark wrote: I’m Carol’s granddaughter, the one singing at her funeral, and I helped write her obituary.  Actually, she wrote most of it herself, and it was quite good! I just edited it a little and added a little more. She knew who she was. She knew what was important in life, and she lived every moment to its fullest.

I think my cousin Maggie said it best “When someone hears my grandma is Carol, the words ‘she is the sweetest lady’ always followed.” We’re all sharing her obituary, and nearly every comment is about how sweet grandma was. We would sing “Sweet Caroline” to her at every family get-together. Because she was our sweet Caroline. We wanted to show her how much we loved her. Everyone loved her.

I always told people I had the quintessential All-American grandma. A cute old lady with white hair, a big smile, and the best chuckle. Always ready with a hug (and a cookie). The best cook and baker you’ve ever met.

She loved with her whole heart. She epitomized love. She WAS love. Every time I saw her, every time I spoke to her, every time I texted with her, I felt how much she loved me. And she treated EVERYONE that way. And everyone loved her in return. Only a very special person can love and be loved in return the way she did.

Her love, kindness, and generosity have had a great impact on my life. She showed me how to be a wife, mother, grandmother, and friend. She truly cared for her family and friends. She welcomed everyone with open arms. She was always there for us. Sporting events, plays, confirmation, graduation, weddings. She wouldn’t miss it. If it was for her family she was there to celebrate. And it wouldn’t be a celebration without her. She traveled overseas multiple times just to be with her family and celebrate. Family meant everything to her.

I also remember both grandma and grandpa singing in the choir loft at Trinity Lutheran. I could pick out both their voices. It’s like I can still hear them now. They loved music, and they loved praising our Lord. This has been especially meaningful to me. I’ve been involved in music most of my life. I sing in my church choir. It’s my favorite way to worship and praise. I often think of the two of them up there singing together. They would always sing “You Are My Sunshine” to each other. They loved each other so much. So “You Are My Sunshine” is very meaningful to our family too. In fact, I’m hoping to end the funeral service with all of us singing it as a surprise. She was our sunshine. A ray of light to brighten up the darkest day. She made everything better.

When Grandma asked me to sing at her funeral, I told her I didn’t know if I could do it. I didn’t know if I could keep my composure enough to sing. She said there wasn’t anyone else at the church to cantor, and she just wouldn’t have one then. There’s no way I was going to let that happen. I looked her in the eye and said Grandma, if you want music you’ll have music. I will do it and we’ll figure it out. So, that’s how much she means to me. I would do anything for her.

I don’t say this lightly and wouldn’t say it about just anyone. She truly was the best lady I’ve ever known. I named my firstborn daughter’s middle name Caroline after her. I will live every day trying to be as good as she was. As kind, generous, and loving as she was. And trying to enjoy life and live it to the fullest like she did.

Great grandson Grayson writes: Grandma has been a blessing to me because she always has a warmness to her that brings joy to every family event we have. 

Grandson Matt Kuhlman writes: Here are my thoughts on why I was SO blessed to have my Grandmother in my life.

I’m blessed that I can trace some of my most defining traits to my Grandmother. She loved music, playing cards, baking, and her face would turn a little red if she had a couple drinks. As a result, you know who to firmly blame when you hear me singing along too loud to the radio, spending an entire afternoon playing “just one more” game of Pinochle, losing myself in an entire afternoon trying to make the perfect Potato Salad, or spot my Rosy Red Cheeks on a Saturday Night on the town.

She once told me that you need to realize when you are living your “Good Old Days.” Well, I think anyone who knew Carol Kuhlman would say that when she was around it was ALWAYS one of the Best of Days.

Daughter-in-law Pam Kuhlman writes: Carol was a woman of great faith. She never judged or spoke ill of others and even in our darkest hours she would say “it will be ok.” She trusted in God’s plan for us even when we didn’t understand or like it. She has shown me how to trust in God to handle the hard things. 

Grandson Jesse Kuhlman: My grandma Carol has been a blessing to me in so many ways, but one way I would like to point out is the example she set for us all in the way she treated everyone around her. Everyone knew her and cared for her because she went out of her way to be kind, generous, gracious, and loving to everyone and anyone she met. I try to live my life the same way and it’s something to strive for in making this world a better place.

Kent Johansen writes: [Carol] was an example of positivity in daily life. When viewed through her eyes, everyone and everything was viewed in a positive light, always seeing only the best.

Donna Johansen writes: Mom was a wonderful, friendly person, that never had anything bad to say about anyone. Loved to be around people and had a smile that filled the room.

Granddaughter Katie Madill writes: Carol’s legacy is so remarkable because of how well she did the simple things. 

 1. Unwavering kindness. There’s a reason she is referred to both as Our Sunshine, and Sweet Caroline. I can hear her say, “Just be nice,” as one of the mottos she lived by. You wouldn’t hear her talk poorly of others but would often hear her show grace, and compassion to everyone, always. 

 2. “Don’t worry” - God has a reason for everything. She really didn’t worry much about anything and the confidence in surrendering to God and His plan was a beautiful thing to witness and learn from. 

 3. Grandma deeply loved and cared for her family, her friends, her community, and her faith. Often through our tummies with her extensive baking skills. But more often in how she held space for us. We often refer to how impressed we were with her level of FOMO (fear of missing out). She was frequently one of the last to leave a party. But there was no fear of missing out, she thrived on the connection she felt by being around others. It lit her up and fueled her spirit to be among those she loved and cared for deeply. 

 4. She taught me that our parents will always be our best friends. That loyalty is valuable, even and especially as a Vikings fan. And that you’re never too old for just one more adventure. 

Parker Madill writes: I really valued the strong familial ties she maintained and encouraged others to nurture. From distant relatives in Germany to The Netherlands, her commitment to maintaining those relationships has helped broaden our knowledge and appreciation for our ancestral heritage.  

Max Madill writes: I loved playing games with Grandma Carol. Uno and sequence. 

Norah Madill writes: “You are My Sunshine” is one of my favorite songs because of Grandma Carol. And her laugh made me smile.

God blessed Carol to be a blessing. He granted her physical blessings—a long, full life. Family, friends, brothers and sisters in Christ. He richly and daily provided her with all she needed to support this body and life. He defended her against all danger and guarded her against evil. All this He did out of fatherly, divine goodness and mercy without any merit or worthiness in her. For all this, she realized was her duty to thank and praise, serve and obey Him.

The Lord provided Carol with abundant spiritual blessings as well. You probably wouldn’t know it from these glowing reviews, but Carol was a sinner—just like everyone else who is gathered here today. Like every man, woman, and child Carol was conceived and born in sin. She sinned daily in thought, word, and deed. She needed a Savior.

Jesus purchased and won her from sin, death, and the devil, not with gold or silver but with His holy, precious blood and His innocent suffering and death, so that Carol and a world of sinners could be His own and live under Him in His kingdom and serve Him in everlasting righteousness, innocence, and blessedness.

Though Carol could not by her own reason or strength believe in Jesus Christ, our Lord, or come to Him, the Holy Spirit called her by the Gospel, enlightened her with His gifts, sanctified and kept her in the true faith just as He calls, gathers, enlightens, and sanctifies the whole Christian Church on earth, and keeps it with Jesus Christ in the one true faith. In this Christian Church, He daily and richly forgave all of Carol’s sins and the sins of all believers.

On the Last Day, He will raise Carol and all the dead. And give eternal life to Carol and all believers in Christ.

We see Carol’s faith reflected in the Scriptures she chose for today, which brought her comfort, patience, and a positive attitude amid trials, setbacks, and struggles. Those passages reflect the core of her faith. They also serve as a way in which the Word she loved might also be a blessing to you as we take it to heart.

Psalm 23                                                                     

The Lord is my shepherd;
   I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
   He leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul.
   He leads me in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil, for You are with me;
   Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies;
   You anoint my head with oil;
   my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life,
   and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Psalm 23 is the most familiar psalm in the Bible, and like an old friend, many of us have known it since childhood. This is the psalm that we want to hear when we are stricken with grief … and when our bodies begin to fail us. We welcome it from our hospital bed. We lean on it when we stand at the grave.

We depend on it because of what the words give us—strength to go forward by propping up our sagging faith. They remind us that the path we are walking is certain even though that path is without visible road signs. It is certain because it is not our path. It is our Shepherd’s path along which we are being led. Rather than asserting his own control, the psalmist finds consolation in giving up control and submitting to the leading of Another who has our best interests at heart. This Shepherd promises that all will be well with us. He gives us everything we need.

The voice in this psalm talks about the darkest shadow that we each must experience in an entirely different way than we are accustomed to hearing: “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death” (Psalm 23:4). The clause “even though I walk” already undercuts the threat of death without denying its reality. It hints at hope against the greatest fear. “Even though” raises my expectations that there lies a firmer truth beyond the horror of death, suggesting that a way out is ahead.

We do not have to wait long to find that way out. Death is only a temporary and momentary danger in the psalm—remembered in verse 4 but not dwelt upon. The words “I fear no evil” are confident, and the following words explain why: “For You are with me.”

At this crucial point, the psalmist switches from the third to the second person. The switch from “He” to “You” adds a sense of intimacy to the speaker’s words. To talk to someone instead of about him is to assume that he is near and can hear and respond. “Talking to” creates a closeness that “talking about” does not.

But there is a change in our status as well. In Psalm 23:1-4, we were sheep under the Shepherd going through the valley of the shadow of death. Here in Psalm 23:5, we are guests at a banquet arranged by God, who is now the host. But more than that, “You anoint my head with oil” speaks of the treatment that priests and kings received. King David was anointed (1 Samuel 16:12-13; 2 Samuel 2:4; 5:3). His son Solomon was also anointed king (1 Kings 1:39). The tables have been turned for us. Our status as “sheep” has fallen away, and we are priestly royalty (1 Peter 2:9, fulfilling Exodus 19:6) whom the Lord Himself anoints. The change to direct address, “You,” reinforces the change in status.

Following such an extravagant hope, the concluding verse brings us back to the present moment: “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life” (Psalm 23:6). The personification, the humanizing of the abstract “goodness” and “mercy” (who “pursue” me), following the metaphors of the Lord as my Shepherd and my host, gives us yet another dramatic way to think about the Lord; He is goodness and mercy in the flesh.

In light of the previous lines of the psalm, the final line shines as a fitting climax: “and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever” (Psalm 23:6). Yahweh’s reach extends through the valley of the shadow of death and to the other side, not only up to it. Who is stronger, God or death? The voice in Psalm 23 would answer clearly: If the Shepherd is with us in death, if as the prophets say, He arranges a table for us in the new age, if He anoints us to be priests and kings, if His goodness and mercy pursue us throughout life, “surely” (Psalm 23:6) His reach does not end at the grave. Surely, we will dwell in His presence forever.

Romans 8:38–39

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Christ’s death, resurrection, and exaltation at God’s right-hand guarantee our victory over anything and everything that would separate us from His love. When following Christ brings distress, we sometimes distance ourselves from Him. But Christ never draws back from us. Because Christ justifies sinners, God’s life-giving Spirit dwells in believers. He frees us from the bondage of sin and death. The Holy Spirit makes us confidently trust that we are heirs, privileged to call God “our Father” and to receive eternal glory at the end of present suffering. The Holy Spirit ministers to God’s dear children by giving us hope in our suffering, help in our weakness, and assurance that all things work out to fulfill God’s eternal purposes. Christ’s death, resurrection, and exaltation at God’s right-hand guarantee our victory over anything and everything that would separate us from His love.

John 14:1–6

[Jesus said:] “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to Myself, that where I am you may be also. And you know the way to where I am going.” Thomas said to Him, “Lord, we do not know where You are going. How can we know the way?” Jesus said to him, “I am the Way, and the Truth, and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.”

Through His death and resurrection, Christ went to prepare a place for us, where we will dwell with God forever. The true God cannot be known apart from Jesus Christ. Those who neglect God’s Word isolate themselves from God. Because of Christ’s work, we can know the Father and enter His eternal presence. Jesus Christ reveals God’s grace in His Word, dispelling our fear and unbelief.

Carol was known for her positive attitude, her ability to find joy in everyday life, and her trademark laugh. These Scripture passages reflect that same attitude and life philosophy. These words are comfort, hope in the most challenging times, and sunshine in our darkest days. They encourage us to find the “Good Old Days” every day of our lives. May you, like Carol, be blessed by the Lord to be a blessing. May you, like Carol, find comfort and hope in the resurrection of Jesus Christ until the day we are reunited in the presence of our Lord. In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen

Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, English Standard Version, copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.