The Difference Between Patience and Mercy

"The Unmerciful Servant" by Eugene Burnand

Click here to listen to this sermon.

So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt (Matthew 18:26-27).

Peter gets forgiveness wrong. But this is a good thing for us, because we usually get it wrong, too, and we get to hear Jesus’ wonderful response. He asks Jesus, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Peter may feel he’s being exceptionally generous with the offer, given the way the world works. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Mess with me a third time, and I’m blocking your calls and unfriending you on Facebook. That’s how the world works; yet Peter generously makes the offer of forgiving the offender not just twice, but seven times.

But life in the kingdom of heaven is not like life in this world. Jesus is quick to correct Peter’s line of thought, saying, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.” Then he tells a parable. A servant owes a king a vast amount of money, more than he could ever repay. By law, the king has the right to sell him and his family into slavery in order to recover some of the money; but instead, he chooses to be merciful. He forgives the debt and sends the servant on his way. The servant, however, is quick to track down another who owes him relatively small amount; and when the man is unable to pay right away, the unmerciful servant throws his associate into prison until the debt is paid.

There’s some obvious Law in the parable: since God has forgiven you for so much, you ought to be able to forgive others for their comparatively little sins against you. Jesus concludes, “So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.” That’s enough Law to accuse us all, for it is easy to bear grudges and fail to forgive over trivial things.

But I submit to you, that there’s even more going on here. Peter has a wrong idea of how forgiveness works—not just what it looks like, but even the basis for forgiveness. If you take a look at the servants in the parable, they have a wrong idea of how forgiveness works, too.

When the servant is brought before the king, he’s doomed. There’s no way he’s able to pay off the gigantic debt that he owes. But when he falls on his knees, what does he ask from the king? He doesn’t ask for mercy, nor does he ask for forgiveness. He asks for patience: “Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.” This is a frantic bid to postpone the judgment that is coming. He’s saying, “Give me more time, and maybe I can figure out a way to pay my debt.”

This is important: the servant isn’t asking the king for mercy. He’s asking for more time to figure out a way to save himself. This also means that he doubts the king will be merciful—he doesn’t think the king will let him off the hook.

The king knows that there’s no way this guy can ever pay off ten thousand talents, and there’s no use pretending or supporting the man’s delusion. At this point, the man doesn’t need patience; he needs mercy. He needs forgiveness. That’s what the king does. He says, “I’m forgiving the debt. You don’t owe me anything anymore. You’re an upstanding citizen in my kingdom.”

"The Unmerciful Servant" by Eugene Burnand

Now, as an upstanding citizen of the king, the servant should promote the policies of his king. But when confronted with another servant who owes him money, he doesn’t forgive the puny debt. His own private kingdom doesn’t work that way. The servant isn’t merciful. In fact, he isn’t even patient: it’s “Pay up now, or you’re going to jail until you do.” When the king hears of it, he has the man thrown into jail. But note: he doesn’t condemn the servant for being impatient, for not giving his colleague a fair shot. He condemns him for being unmerciful, for not forgiving the debt. This is a kingdom of mercy, not a kingdom of mere patience.

And there’s a significant difference between patience and mercy.

Peter thinks that he’s representing Jesus well by patiently forgiving more times before he cuts off the sinner. If that is what Peter thinks, then he thinks that Jesus operates the same way—that Jesus gives sinners a certain number of absolutions before He cuts them off. But that isn’t how Jesus’ kingdom operates: His is a kingdom of unending mercy and grace. As He teaches Peter, He’s on His way to the cross to die for the sins of the world—all the sins of all the world.

So what does this mean for you and me? By nature, we think a lot like Peter.

First off, we get sin wrong. We think that the sins of thought and word and deed that we commit, and the sins that people commit against us, are the big problem. They’re a problem, sure: in fact, they’re enough to condemn you for eternity. But we have a bigger problem than these actual sins, and that’s original sin. The Reformers called this concupiscence, a word that sounds almost as awful as it is. It is our sinful nature, our proclivity to sin and inability without the Holy Spirit working in us to do what is right and holy. Briefly put, we’re not sinful because we do these things. Rather, we do these things because we are sinful.

Does it matter? Absolutely. If we’re sinful because we do sinful things, then we can become sinless by stopping these sins. In that case, we’re going to act like Peter and the servant in the parable. We’re going to say, “Lord, be patient with me. Give me some more time, and I’ll clean up my act enough for You to love me.” If that were true, then the message of Christianity would be, “Get going and fix things up while God is still patient, because sooner or later He’ll call you to account.” And if that’s the message of Christianity—that you fix yourself, do you still need Jesus to die for you? Not at all.

Is this a threat to Christianity today? Absolutely: why else would so many sermons today focus on how to make your life better, rather than on the forgiveness of sins?

Thus we need to repent of our errors and hold fast to our doctrine of sin. It is not that we’re sinful because we do sinful things. Rather, we do sinful things because we are sinful. The sins that we commit are like symptoms of a virus—a problem, sure, but not the heart of the problem. The problem is our original sin, the truth that we’re conceived and born in sin, cut off from God and His righteousness. You can medicate and suppress the symptoms of a virus, but you’re still sick. Likewise, you can cut back on your actual sins, but you’re still sinful.

If we get sin wrong, though, we’ll get forgiveness wrong, too. If we think Christianity is about making ourselves better, then we want God to grant us patience, not mercy. We’ll think forgiveness is a loan to buy us a little time, not a cancellation of the debt. But God didn’t give His only Son to die to give us another chance; He gave His Son to die to defeat sin and death, once for all.

Let’s push a step further: how will this affect our treatment of others—of those who sin against us? If we think that forgiveness is a loan to buy us time, we’ll treat others the same way. When we say, “I forgive you,” it won’t mean, “I don’t hold this sin against you.” It will mean, “I’m going to let it go this time, so you have a chance to make it up to me.”

This was Peter’s problem: “Lord, how many times do I have to be patient and give my brother another chance?” Jesus’ answer was, “This isn’t about patience. It’s about mercy. And there’s a big difference. Patience counts offenses, and patience has an end. Mercy forgives offenses, and mercy doesn’t expire.”

It’s true, since we have been forgiven so much, that we should readily forgive others. But don’t miss the deeper problem: do we fail to forgive as we should because we misunderstand the Lord’s forgiveness? Do we believe that He is truly merciful, or only patient? Do we see His forgiveness as a complete pardon, or only as probation and time to do better? If it is the latter, then repent: for you have accused the Lord of being far less merciful than He is.

Repent, and rejoice—because the Lord is merciful to you. When gathered here in the name of God, we do not sing, “Lord, have patience upon us,” but “Lord have mercy upon us.” We confess the joyful news that Jesus comes with grace—not to say, “I’m giving you another chance before the hammer falls,” but “I will remember your sins no more.”

The Lord’s message in Baptism is not, “Here’s a jump-start to get you going. And if you don’t mess up too badly, I’ll keep you around.” Instead, He joins you to His death and resurrection. He forgives your sins and gives you life. He brings you into His family and says, “You are My child, and I will be patient with you; but know that you are Mine because I’ve already been merciful to you.”

In Holy Absolution, the servant of the Word does not say, “The Lord is going to let it go this time, assuming that you clean up your act.” Through the pastor, Jesus says to you, “I forgive you all of your sins.” Thus He sets you free from sin to do good. Not because you’re paying off a debt before His patience runs out—the debt is already paid! He sets you free to be merciful to others, as He has had mercy upon you.

Likewise, the Lord’s Supper here is not to patch you up and buy you time on earth, but to give you forgiveness and eternal life. Here, the Lord gives you His body and blood for the forgiveness of sins. The debt is paid and you are free.

Is the Lord patient? Yes: thankfully, yes. The Bible reminds us that He patiently waits for people to repent. But more than His patience, rejoice in the Lord’s mercy and forgiveness. Indeed, for Jesus’ sake, you are forgiven for all of your sins.

In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen

Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, English Standard Version, copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.